S K Y D I V I N G

Looking back.... just a little....

2008-07-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

This week had me feeling nostalgiac. Maybe it has to do with my estranged Mom's birthday or the fact that I will be saying good-bye to Arizona sometime real soon.

These days have left me with a sad disposition, nothing like driving through the old childhood neighborhoods. Its amazing how much of the early life remains with us. I have been living in the city for nearly eighteen years.... and I have never really had the need to revisit the old times, just knowing those neighborhoods existed was enough until this week.

I imagined the morning sun still rising and resting over the same roofs, the same trees, the same cracked sidewalks of the old neighborhood.

Visiting them again...was like seeing my childhood spirit ghostly playing outside as soon as the sun came out.... the monster palm tree... the china berry tree.... the bright orange skateboard.. Tina Rena's crazy brother Anastasio always eating some homemade burrito--we all knew his Mom was great.... the steps that I crashed into with my rollerskates-- had my Mom plucking shards of glass out of my knees and screaming at me in the same breath.

And I always loved that large house the color of burnt umber and brown-- at the corner, it loomed with mystery and on a warm summer night... it was all a child needed to spike the imagination...

Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong about going home again. Home is where the heart is... take it from a gypsy moon child who never really had a home.

Sharing That Poetry

2008-07-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

Since I was a kid, July always seemed to be the fun part of summer.... May was a 'winding into' summer, June was 'feeling like' summer and July was the where the fun happened.

I'm no longer the dusty knee gal who hung out with the boys (sorta looked like them, too) however, my passions changed and this year I'm spending my free summer evenings hanging out with other Poets. It's peaceful.... relaxing... energetic.... and inspiring. No pills.. no spirited drinks... just great imagery and walking a bit in someone else's shoes.

Last night was 'Poetry Night' at Words in the Alley--Feral Poetry in Glendale. If you have free time look them up and join us for a warm evening of welcomed words.

Check out their Myspace profile for details on the upcoming events and featured Poets.

when age isn't always better

2008-06-03T22:25:00.001-07:00

What is Change?

2008-06-03T22:15:00.001-07:00

Tonight I heard a political speech about 'wrong change' and 'right change'. I couldn't get over the lack of rhetoric that extended into a lengthy lecture of what wrong changes may be approaching the horizon of a new American ideal.

Change is change, I believe there is a plus/delta version for reacting to change.

I think someone needs a new speech writer and speech lesson. I wasn't impressed.

A Poem for my Cousins

2008-05-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

aunt Midge

another casket tolls a parting for the day

flowered bouquets for color

a lovely vase made for a mother

her casket tolls the swell of parting away

they wait their dusty turn in solemn winds that blow

among the scriptures read

through memory's mental pictures that fled

a hidden beauty, a beauty on the go

they wait, those flowers hear the love you gave

longing for you, longing as they yearn

they wait for the promise of a mother to return

hope swells in sad array, without love they forgave

a fleeting breath and sorrow unfathom'd has to cry

bearing the death and soul of a mother

the loss of a sister, the aunt, the friend of another

leaning to love cause love should never die

spring shines applauding the reserv'd lands nearby

whisking away the lonely sighs

the dust on the flowers from nigh

and the drear locked in the depth of their eyes

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

1:54 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Chimeara’s World
Current mood: artistic
Category: Music

10:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Poem 20. NaPoWriMo

deleted

I deleted you
the Line poem
the Just leaves
the Dangerous for Girls
and how murder filled her dreams
as the world grew wings

I deleted you
the Charm
the Gnosised
and that Pot of Tea drill

I deleted what I couldn't feel
d e l e t e d
because I'm a spoiled visual
a kinesthetic junky high on lyrical prose
needing your words to hammer
grind deep into my soul
your rhythmic highs
your rhythmic lows
your heart and soul poetry
and without a brush
I want to see your canvas
across my dark room
and feel the wet grime of your colors
f l o e t r y
rapping, reaping, seeping
between my fingers
flushed
that unforgettable wit carries me
carries the high
of this lyrical junky from line to line

reading your highs
reading your lows
reading you like a book
through the complexities
of all that is horrifying
beautiful
and p o s s i b l e

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poetry Slam Happening Tonight.... Mesa

2008-05-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

Poetry In The Round
Date:	May 8, 2008 10:39 AM
Subject:	ATTN: Phoenix Area Folks, Poetry Event Tonight!
Body:	I believe Jonathan (host of Poetry In The Round) is planning on slamming tonight...it's been a while. Come out and support! : ) Some high school kids from Prescott are making the journey out tonight, so come show them what poetry means to the valley! Thanks, Klute, for providing the info for me to steal: Mesa Poetry Slam.... TONIGHT! The Mesa Poetry Slam has risen like a mighty Phoenix from the ashes of... Look, just come to the poetry slam. Get your poetry there, not from a Myspace bulletin. Always free to get in, only $1 to slam! What: The Mesa Poetry Slam When: Tonight, May 8th, at 8:00PM Where: The Essenza Coffeehouse, 1350 S Longmore, Mesa Why: Slam, poetry How: However you can. Call (480) 461-0445 for more info!

Another class ends....

2008-05-08T08:43:00.001-07:00

We said good-bye and farewell. My students brought this cake in on the last day of class along with another for my two daughters and I to take home. I was very touched and dreaded the last day of class. I could tell it would be a sad day for some whose initial facial reaction told me it was going to be a sad day. I had spent the last four months with my ESL students and we made good distance in the classroom.

They did a great job on their final assessments and that evening, I drove home in my silent but boastful happiness and cried. Yes, I’m a rookie and I know how to handle good-byes, but their growth, and their future lives were incumbent on how well I did my job. The human in me, taught with heart and soul. I did my best and used every teaching strategy I knew. It was like watching your child walk for the first time again….. and the littlest difference made a world of a difference. I cheered them, encouraged them, and did my best to inspire them.

The last day of class I talked with every student individually and from them I learned their stories of disappointment, gratitude, well-being, and how hard they studied and practiced on their own. Some say they did it for me, others said they did it for their families and for me, I prefer to believe they did it for themselves… they were a wonderful and respectful group of people and because of them, my cup runneth over…

You never know how you will affect others around you, a simple gesture, a pat on the back, a good word of encouragement changes lives. I may never see them all together again, those two classes, but the memory of their stories will stay with me always.

R.I.C.H Keeping It Alive

2008-05-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

I've got to keep this one going.... I met Richie two years ago here in Phoenix. He was doing a concert for the valley youth at our church downtown. He has a powerful message that is Christ bound and cross pollinates the energy of R&B with Rap. His music is WORD.

A celebration for his album Release of PEOPLEZ CHOICE...... is happening tonight in New York.
Adm: $10.00
Time.... 7 pm
Location... 139-35 88th ave Jamaica NY 11435

PEOPLEZ CHOICE Album release....If you have never been to an E.R. check out the video..

Log onto www.RichieRighteous.com for more info...

Sharing the love...

Poem #20. NaPoWriMo

2008-05-01T10:40:00.001-07:00

deleted

I deleted you
the Line poem
the Just leaves
the Dangerous for Girls
and how murder filled her dreams
as the world grew wings

I deleted you
the Charm
the Gnosised
and that Pot of Tea drill

I deleted what I couldn't feel
d e l e t e d
because I'm a spoiled visual
a kinesthetic junky high on lyrical prose
needing your words to hammer
grind deep into my soul
your rhythmic highs
your rhythmic lows
your heart and soul poetry
and without a brush
I want to see your canvas
across my dark room
and feel the wet grime of your colors
f l o e t r y
rapping, reaping, seeping
between my fingers
flushed
that unforgettable **** carries me
carries the high
of this lyrical junky from line to line

reading your highs
reading your lows
reading you like a book
through the complexities
of all that is horrifying
beautiful
and p o s s i b l e

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem #19. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-30T03:13:00.000-07:00

for jewell's sun

i notice the little girl
from across the lawn
she is sad and on the verge of tears

you
unike the others
can see the tears
before they fall

and like the love you are
you take those steps forward
to hug them back
inside of her
before they can fall
you smile
on her

so she might shine again

how beautiful you are

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem #18. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-30T02:53:00.001-07:00

kiki love

you smile

and the sun can shine

on the darkest bleak of day

u n f o r g e t t a b l e
l o v e
the best part of me
grew your heart in mine
never mind the stories
about the woman made of stone
the cold crystal woman, who was
destined to live alone

we knew it wasn't true
when you sighed
took your first breath
reached into my heart
and carried a piece of me
into this place we call
life

a million miracles
boast to life
with just one of your smiles

and with them
you have changed the colors

of my world

Poem #17. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-30T02:44:00.000-07:00

april winds

arizona

knows how to blow some dust

the news today says that downtown

phoenix is the worst place to eat fast food

because it’s unhealthy

and congested in the midst of pollution

aren’t we rough enough

says the woman pushing her cart

down 7^th avenue

aren’t we tough enough

says another man chasing a kid down the street

his bike shouldn’t have been

parked outside that 7 eleven store

the winds, they blow again

our desert at the mercy of another visit

another young man dead

murdered in his home down the street

no one said life would be easy

it really isn’t about you, is it?

rather, it’s about the person next to you

and what words

might find the truth

that matters most

Poem #16. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

distance

sometimes I prefer you
at your distance
laughing across the line
on the phone

laughing because somewhere
at some time
you learned to laugh first
before crying

I prefer distance
where I cannot see you clear
moving your nervous eyes
as they shift from place to place
shift the curtains aside
and like that window to the soul

I'm flooded by the secrets
I cannot bear
and I know where you are broken
where you are whole
when there is enough cushion
to just keep jumping

I know when the day doesn't matter
when the night crawls into your skin
and even laughter cannot hide
what's broken

sometimes I prefer you
at that distance
because its there
that I cannot see so much

Poem #15. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-28T12:18:00.000-07:00

crushed

society demands

a different kind of woman

a different kind of man

poverty

raped violated molested

starved and hurt they hid

they lie they shun they shadow

in greed to numb their minds

‘cause life is hard

and hard is waking up

at two in the morning

unable to recognize the face

in the passing mirror

another knock at the door

its you

another woman smitten

scant clad and scent on him

she cries she screams she sobs

and is off searching for him

again

the poet in sigh

journeyed morning to night

rumbling from sundown to morning light

a ladder emerges

creativity a trinity in sight

needing someone

to pull you though

to battle the demons

you vigorously love to hide

in the ‘soul of you inside’

finding the words you say you lost

saying,

I didn’t give up on you

You gave up on me

Poem #14. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

psalm 27:1-2

you are the reason
he showed up again
stalking me
stalking me
stalking me still
Lord I'm angry
I'm beat
I'm down on it again
and he's waiting
to break my will

a newborn in spirit
and pressing my way
to you
he's a master
in this game
out to kill and destroy

so I pray God
for your word God
for your armor God
your will God
for You God
be done God

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem #13. NaWriPoMo

2008-04-24T00:35:00.000-07:00

love

you know what to do
you know what to say
you know my language
you know me
enough to woo me every day

you know what's lost
you know what's found
you know this heart
you know me
enough to put it down!

you know you're the man
you know the dreams
you know this writer
you know me
enough to read between my seams

you know I'm a dreamer
sleepwalking on a rope
my new husband, my love
you pray with me
for God's love and his hope

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem #12. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

12:14 am

another day has ended
and I'm feeling good

good that my students
sometimes confused
and unsure of themselves
can be confident enough
to be who they are
genuine survivors

for the husband at five am
on the job
studying at night
to earn his right
to hope
for a better life

for the mother next to her child
done wondering
still pondering the wild hope
in becoming more
for the vitality of her family

they were sad for good-bye
the class that ended tonight

for weeks
they filed into class
hour after hour
sharing life
sharing language
never knowing how much
I admired the heroes
I saw among each of them

they were sad for the good-bye
and so was I
so was I

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem # 11. NaPoWriMo Challenge

2008-04-23T23:04:00.000-07:00

poetry

is what I see
when the music changes tone
when your words, your actions
are no longer your own

I'm wild on air
at the foot of another climb
this mountain doesn't mean
I'm defeated or out of time

this isn't another hard road to travel
I'm ready for the burn
ready for the challenge
ready to write my next word

I know when I reach the top
poetry is what I'll see
poetry and the beauty of life
that's my faith, those are my wings

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem #10. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-23T02:29:00.000-07:00

Por ti

solo in the the morning light
and like the sun you rose
amidst the webs webbed tight
a moon in flight sharing the winds that blow
smitten and fallen like rain on rain
you came like a dust in fury
creating a new world to lose your pain
losing the past flashed in a hurry
It was her heart and your bloody greed
casting you the love
casting you the heart the soul you would need
'cause darkeness can be lonely with the moon above

lonely when the moon is full and you cry out for her soul
lonely cause crying cannot bring back the life you already stole

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem #9. NaWriPoMo

2008-04-23T02:24:00.000-07:00

Solo

solo por ti
in the lonely
desolate city I ran
against the sun
the darkness that fell
the wedding that gave
your hand

nothing new to remember
except you
and the chase on me
out of breath
terrified
you had me with one two three!

beautiful in blue
could’ve been my song
a tribute to the giant
who lied
who towered
in defiance

I was yours
and you were mine
“til death do us part”
that you did
a murderer of my spirit
a sword still hovering in my heart

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Poem # 8 NaWriPoMo

2008-04-23T01:50:00.000-07:00

solo por ti

wilderness once dreamt
of destiny a destination
somewhere
floating solo like a mirage
on the brink of freedom

baby I hear your voice
see the sunlight floating down
and I know you love me
even as my body fell limp
pummeled to the ground

leaves rustle wet damp
between my fingers cool
dragged
across the forest floor both
dead and alive- I’m the fool

trying to stay alive
loving a giant in faith
with freedom like a mirage
on the brink of life
whatever lies next
I’m yours

to chase
to catch
to terrify
to frighten
dying again and again

I’m yours
another beautiful mirage
captured in hell
because murder
is all you know

Inconvenient Truth VI

2008-04-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

Usually, when something is inconvenient the dread just never seems to end.
Here are a few favorites that have to go to the back burner....

Salsa dancing

Belly Dancing

Exercising-- hiking "A" Mountain in Tempe

I'm sure I can sink lower by naming more negatives, and I have no anthem of the day, so to save myself I'll have to catch up on those poems... looks like I'm 4 down!!

Inconvenient Truth V

2008-04-10T15:02:00.000-07:00

In case you're wondering what's next for this broken toe and broken foot, I have an appointment with a foot doctor next week to seal the deal on that cast. A cast for the next four weeks... right.. let's see how far I get to that office before making a U turn!

I can be such a rebel its scary. I'm not trying to walk around for the rest of my life with a crooked foot, though!

Here are some comments made by good friends:

Lynn, "Oh Honey, let's just decorate it with ribbons, or lace and pretty bells- it'll be fun for the wedding!"

Patricia, "Don't let vanity ruin your wedding... look at it this way, you can milk it every year by saying, I never got to dance at my wedding!" [by the way, she gave the million dollar advice and she knows it!!]

Alicia, "Your dress should cover your feet right?!"

Aida, "It is like a movie. Anything is possible. Whatever you do, it is your life and your
wedding. I will be always on your side, even if you kill someone. Love you dearly"

MaryAnn, " You may end up walking down the aisle on crutches?!!!!!"

Dee Dee, " Sorry to hear about your foot. What the heck were you doing? Oops -- maybe I don't want to know"

After heavily contemplating a poll on "To be or Not To Be" I decided against taking a poll, even though I had already collected five "no go(s)" and two were from the parking lot attendants at Crazy Jim's-- as I was saying I decided against the poll, afraid my fiancee might log in and read this blog. He knows I'm unpredictable, still I don't want him to think I let others sway the fate of our blessed day.

Arizona Author's Association--Looking for Authors!

2008-04-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

If you are a member of the Arizona Author's Association, Vicki Lautsch is looking for authors
who would consider speaking at the Glendale Elementary School District Career Day Event on May 2nd.

They are inviting professionals from all around Phoenix to come and speak to the students about how they got to where they are, and how they chose their given career.

The students are at a Title I school; they are rarely exposed to life outside of the square mile around the campus. They are phenomenal kids, and the school would like them to see what life is like outside of the four walls of school and their tiny neighborhood. As Teach For America teachers, they passionately advocate for the students to receive the best education possible. Education that reaches beyond the classroom is their goal.

The career Odyssey will be held at Don Mensendick School, on Friday, May 2nd from 8:00 to 1:45.

If you are interested in joining Career Odyssey and sharing your passion with a group of phenomenal children, you may email: adsilver23@gmail.com or vicki.lautsch@gmail.com; or contact by phone: Adam's number is 847-894-8439 and Vicki's number is 216-402-0578.

www.azauthors.com

www.tobyheathcotte.com

My Anthem of the Day III

2008-04-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

Gotta have a good word for today. I'm in love this song...

The song is inspired by Richie Righteous, titled "Yes, I can" I also posted it to the profile on myspace.

He recently performed at Pilgrim Rest Baptist Church for Battleground.
A concert held to inspire the youth of Phoenix, Arizona.

... I don't mind the ad, his message is worth it.
R.I.C.H. Resting In Christ Hands

Proverbs 22:6

2008-04-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

"Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it"
Proverbs 22:6

My daughter made a "friend" in her class yesterday... she named him "Ricky" I was moved when I saw that she buckled up Ricky before she buckled up herself on the ride home.
My cup runneth over... my baby is growing up!

We Celebrate Nat. Poetry Month!!

2008-04-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

Last week in class, my ESL students wrote poetry for the first time and together we wrote a poem in class.

They suprised me this week and brought in their own poetry!! They are awesome and were inspired to write. Just thinking about it, I'm in heaven right now. I've got some poets in my class and they rock!

One of my students pulled a fast one on me, she wrote her poem in English and then she wrote it in Spanish, a whole page.... she told me that she wanted to read her poem in English, but she wanted me to read the Spanish version.... WOW!!
Yeah, they just wanted to hear me speak Spanish, because I am always telling them, they must speak only English in class!!

She got me! The class was in an uproar and excited that I read the poem in Spanish.
Bet they didn't know I could throw down like that!! (Thank God for those college classes!)

Poem 7. NaPoWriMo Challenge

2008-04-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

crazy love (for Mom)

you keep me looking back for you
your secluded house on the praire
and the one piece of mail I didn't rip to shreds
before tossing in the trash

you keep me looking back
to the same rocky path leading up to you
your homemade chimes
and that miller beer can twisting in the wind

you keep me looking back
and although the mirror is familiar to me
this picture is you
another dauntless travel

my daughter, feisty and full of life
plummeted into this world with a bang-
rough, playful and sometimes sorry
for the mischief she loves, looks like you

you keep me looking back
when I look into her big bright brown eyes
her rugged break at freedom
and the dimples she inherited from you

you keep me looking back
I have to- it's then I truly see myself
and the future bubbling in front of me
living in the eyes of my daughter

you keep me
thinking of you
another simple song and I'm eight years old
and loving you all over again

John Suvivor Blake and Poem #8

2008-04-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

Still honoring "Thirty Poems in Thirty Days" I would be remiss if I didn't shine some light on this awesome poet, my man John Survivor Blake.

Take a look at his poem titled "Mi Amor". He's got some good life brewing and he's sharing it with all of us!

It is National Poetry Month and poets from all over the world are celebrating the muse of writing poetry, trip-hop rock indie, floetry, elemental hip-hop, prose whatever muse inspires. Take a look, it may save your life!

Poem 6. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

rebuked

four times a weeks

I can face the mere belief

that damn

you can exist

beyond the screen

and made for Hollywood story

you tempt the joys

and tip the mind with fury

naw, that wasn’t me

moving the glass across the counter

slamming the drawers

in that Mesa apartment

you woke me up

and chased me

right out of that dream

here we are a decade later

and at 3 a.m.

I can’t run anymore

I won't run anymore

my hours

are your hours

we co-exist

at a time when peace is mine

writing to the distant sound of a train

it’s horn stretching across the city

and into this room

where I hear too much

I see too much

I feel too much

and the moon offers nothing

but a bright reminder

that I’m going to need Bud

all over again

My Anthem Of the Day!

2008-04-09T10:48:00.000-07:00

Uplifting and unlike Motely Crue's "Don't Go Away Mad--Just Go Away" (one of my favorite songs) this is a softer side of saying...

love song

Inconvenient Truth IV

2008-04-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

Of course I would immediately defy the doctor's recommendations about staying home with this foot elevated.

I went to lunch with a wonderful friend and she gave me some great words of advice.
"Don't let vanity stop you from getting married."

Can you guess what I was thinking?

The doctor said four weeks! What are facts anyway? I just thought of something... I can't even sky dive if I wanted to! Isn't it worst when your options can no longer be options? I'm sure this will be indictative of my life in the days to come.

Inconvenient Truth III

2008-04-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows I love shoes. Pretty shoes (without bows ...ugg), pretty shoes hide ugly feet!

The fact is, there's no hiding this ugly foot. As it turns out... my toe is not the only bone that is broken.. so is my foot!!!! Wow for sadness, wow for unbelievable, wow for the extended ugly, and wow because its happening to me!!

I cannot believe the doctor wants me home for three days with my foot up! It is also recommeded that I wear a cast for the next four weeks...

There's no way I'll survive. Is he serious?!

No Salsa dancing, no belly dancing, no excercising.... what about the wedding? I have been quietly avoiding the countdown for the wedding, it's my way of preserving what freedom I might have left of my coveted independence.

I need an uplifting poem... someone save me with some good words!

Poem 5. NaPoWriMo

2008-04-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

restored

God knew my pain

the tragedy my family born

he knew I had a weakness

that chained my spirit in mourn

I had to learn some things

forgiveness love and trust

ask of him and let it be done

with faith we live, it’s a must

never asked for forgiveness

the hardness in this heart

never prayed for Mom

and the silent decades spent apart

but God knew what I needed

and he lifted the misery away

he stepped in so I might live

to forgive the trust she had betrayed

Inconvenient Truth II

2008-04-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

My foot is ugly. No really it is. It's ugly. Even on a good day it's ugly. Right now I'm in the emergency room and it is propped up and swollen green with light purple blooming in between the two small toes. I can usually hide them in some fashionable wear, but today I can't fit this foot in anything... I feel helpless. Sunday, and a bad accident is all I can say.

My toe literally jammed into the socket of my foot, I did the remarkable by pulling it out. It was a lumpy pull, but I did it! I was so brave. Would you know it I limped out the door and went to church!

Let's not talk about how it felt two hours laters or how I took my shoe off and couldn't put it back on, or how embarrassing it was when a church attendant refused to leave me standing outside and insisted on helping me to my car! Watching my silly shadow hop across the street--I almost wished this handsome man would just end my misery and carry me!!

The waiting room is full and here I am reminded of just how ugly my feet are, the truth just sucks today.

My Inconvenient Truth

2008-04-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been seven days and I'm four poems in... it isn't because I've lost my muse, its because I'm busy!! What an incredible project this is... I'm having so much fun reading other blogsites and myspace sites, and discovering some talented poets that I'm too tired to post my own. I'm brewing with something about Gerard Melanga, a spiritual poem on Restoration, and one to my wonderful and loving friend MARYANN. It's going to be titled after her. I have them in my head, really I do!

Today, I'm heading to the hospital. Yesterday, I learned a few lessons and so today, I limping with a possible broken toe. I'm borrowing my nephew's crutchers and thanking God for them, since I hopped so much yesterday I had a headache.

I think I should be a little worried, the wedding is very close and if my foot doesn't heal in time, someone will have to carry me down that aisle!

P.S. I haven't told the Groom about my foot. Such an inconvenient truth.

Poem 4. YEAH!!

2008-04-06T23:59:00.001-07:00

watering the seed

everyday I’m cultivating some seeds

planted for the joy in Bishop’s word

planted for this season

when the music like water

falls on fertile ground

I’m sensitive to you

for the frustration in your life

for the pills you capped and the moments

that followed when God sent you back

because it was not your time

your children needed you

I’m sensitive to you

because even through your talents

you refuse hope and defeat yourself

with anger through anger

and no one can love anger but anger

somehow you keep surviving and wonder why

I’m sensitive to you

because you prayed for me

when I couldn’t pray for myself

you knew my heart and the battles I waged

a foolish fighter, still you prayed on me

in your forsaken state, and today I pray on you

I know you’ve got some seeds

planted in a season that has passed

you are a child of God, whomever your God

should be

<>let time be your strength <>

and your spirit be a source of guidance

for peace

Sorry no poems yet... I'm three behind!!

2008-04-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

I’m watching Elizabeth, another great movie. I love this movie for the soundtrack, too. When I was in London, it was heaven and I'm good at pretending... so my skills had me walking around the city like I was dressed in some velvet colored dress with a tight corset. Of course, I'm reminded that I would not have faired well, being that I am a woman of color, and I sorta kinda say what's on my mind, and I might have been deemed a bruja!!

I'm jealous. I want a Walsingham, in my life, too! My favorite part of the movie lies in three parts… the first, when she responds to Lord Burley on the urgency of her getting married and he say’s “but Madam you are only a woman” she replies, “I may be a woman Sir, but I can have the heart of a man if I choose!”

The second line I favor is when Robert Dudley tries to position himself as the man in her life by telling her she is still his Elizabeth. She fires back, "<>I am no man’s Elizabeth! I will have one mistress and NO MASTER!!

Right on Elizabeth!!
She’s my hero tonight. I'm living for the end of the movie when she descends the stairs of the court in her statue like appearance and stops to show Lord Burley her ring, she says, "Observe Lord Burley, I am married to England." (This man wanted her married).
Too bad this movie did not show the true relationship between her and Lord Burley, or her and Robert Dudley. She retires Lord Burley early in the movie, but everyone knows she kept him as her advisor for as long as his life allowed.

A Short Wedding Jingle I

2008-04-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

shades of pink

"dirty pink roses" that's all I said.

the very young female behind the counter, chuckled...
and although we were not engaged in a conversation
I could tell she was listening to me talk in my ramble
at the counter and flipping those pages
from red to rose, white lilies
and arrangments made to amaze us

I said it again, "all I need are dirty pink roses"

I noticed she was listening again
I wasn't trying to be funny
those were my words
I was looking for pink- not just one
I wanted them clean, dark, light,
deep with color and dirty with fun

she blushed and laughed with blush
then apologized for never did she hear someone say
"I'm looking for dirty pink roses..."
I had to laugh too, she don't know me that well
anyone who knows me would say
"of course you'd say that" --you're crazy as hell!

Copyright © 2008 by Crystal Kill

Two Down. NaPoWriMo Challenge

2008-04-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

"The most timid soul is made bold by necessity"
Chinese Proverb

mom

it's 11:19
paper wads lie crumbled
scattered across the floor
among them
words
bend
stretch
curl and tear into one another

squeeze any one of them hard
and watch them bleed

that’s the magic you gave me
this unexpurgated gift
exchanged when you said good-bye
created the day when childhood died
silent in youth
you took me far away
my guardian, love of my life

you needed me

to know how an infectious
suicide would be
how to clean your wrist
without causing it to bleed
your sloppy note and
the leftover information
your orphans would need

the dirty rags tied loose
around your wrists
blood splattered
across the walls
the bathroom floor
the kitchen knife
a red wet and warm reminder
that you did have a heart

with a second chance
you accepted life
without words and dry with fear
I took your death
cleaned up your blood
washed the walls
scrubbed the floor
and hid the knife
that severed us both,
in a place I'll never forget

One Down! 1/30

2008-04-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

on the drive

no time for full moons

not going to look outside

I’ve brewed in chaos again

got lost in Cuba on the drive

Cuba in my dance

Cuba when the night unwinds

Cuba you had me going

ringing me crazy cloves that blind

damn those red lights

and your questions too

the loud band playing, not too loud

whoa, the pachata is sexy on you

I hear the phone ringing

another Cuban call— long distance

playing me on the drive

while confession had us all dancing

vibrant energetic and still alive

for Clove Poetry by Crystal Kill

Crafty Green Poet said...

good rhythm in this, very atmospheric too and the repitition of Cuba works well

April 2, 2008 1:09 PM

Thirty Poems In Thirty Days?

2008-04-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

With all the fools born today, this is not an April fool's joke. The blog site Read Write Poetry is sponsoring an all out poetry slam for the month of April to celebrate the craft of writing poetry. Poets from all over cyberspace will be blogging their poetry and logging in every Wednesday to network.
The blog site Read Write Poetry offers tips for writer's block and provides suggestions for new poetic refrains.

The goal is to catch your muse and write!
I'm in for the journey... let's see where this goes. If you are interested log in and let's get in contact. I'll be back later with my poem!

My Song For Today I

2008-04-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

If I played the drums, I would jam it on this song"I need your love" and think I was cool. I'm reminded of seeing my good friend Bud play the guitar for the first time (a little shocked and with good suprise). Sorry about the link, just listen to the song, no need to indulge.
I just learned, I went to high school with these musicians. My good friend had a wild crush on the drummer, Eliot Sneezy... I'm lost on the nickname she gave him in the seventh grade. Yes, we were in band together! Of course, in high school, they were too cool for me and I was not on their calling list. Well, actually, we didn't have a phone.

I need something bubbling and light today- this song is working for me right now.

I'm looking at different skydiving companies to visit this Saturday!
Yes, it is exactly as you are thinking. I'll be jumping AGAIN!
Oh BE JOYFUL!

No luck needed here... its all skill.

Let's get some new pictures already.

Walk With Me

2008-04-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

age

The Arizona Black Film Festival was great! My good friend, the Auteur and his Director were not recipients of the film of the year, however it was a night filled with good conversation and great entertainment. I have pictures, but I don't know how to download them inside the blogs (I'm beginning to think I'm the only one whose Add Image button doesn't work- so if you can school me on this one, the next cappuccino is on me).

Unlike my usual unsophisticated rush toward the goal of "getting there on time" I was suprisingly early for the evening award ceremony. So early in fact, that I leisured some extra time with a walk around downtown. My good friend who was to go with me, was not able to join me, so like the eagle I am, I had to soar this one alone.

The evening was beautiful and surreal at the same time... it donned early with a light warm wind that streamed in between the buildings. That was nice. Very nice. I decided to walk west toward the Orpheum Theater. At 6:30 in the evening the skies, clear of clouds were a soft shade of blue. Everywhere I looked I could see art and felt the magic it created... I wished at that moment as I have many times before, wished I had the skills to be a photographer, taking unforgettable memorabilia... the bright lights coming to life as the evening grew darker, the elongated glare of a car light as it turned the corner... the marquee lights of the Orpheum blazing bright against a quiet street. No crowds. No cars. No bumper to bumper horns. Just that beautiful building and the warm Arizona wind.

I walked to Washington street, passed the old court building (ignoring but well aware of the three court buildings that added to the already existing court buildings-what does that mean???)
I passed the lot where the park in the middle of downtown used to be located. Each time I see it, those round white lights and in all its modern design disappear. I still see the old park, 1979 where homeless people slept. My brothers and I had a name for that park, we called it the "Wino Park". My mother took us there to eat our lunch after we walked into town and although there was nothing special about it, I can still see it.

Across Central and Washington stood the city bus station.... I remember the awnings that covered the sidewalks and the large windows that were lined with new radios and new fans. At night, downtown was pretty scary to a kid. The empty windows of vacant stores were either covered with newspaper, painted, or just left to its eerie and deserted lonesomeness. Kids aren't really suppose to experience lonesomeness... are they?
However, most of the time, downtown was pretty cool to a kid. And on this past Saturday, downtown was pretty cool to a much older kid.

As I crossed Central Avenue I couldn't help but stop to take a moment for the large black and white picture of an antique Phoenix that canvased the corner of the building. It reminded me of the Great Gatsby and that unforgettable picture aging against the wall of another place in time. Isn't it always like that? No matter how much time may pass, we still take pause for the times that have passed and for the future that lies one step in front of us. Always certain to keep us moving ahead, we were born afterall, with the means to double it into the future if we really wanted.

Heading back to the event... full of smiles and good memories, I was reminded that we are embarking on the vest of a new season.... a summer season. A season of survival, of celebrations and vacations, of summer storms, of departure, departing and endurance. We Arizonans know that seasons do change and so must we.
We should not try to function in a season that has already passed. That would be out of order, or chaotic. Who ever heard of an Arizonan who wore a long jacket and knee high boots in the middle of an Arizona summer? Okay... so maybe we might know one or two people (hopefully not more than that) but you get what I'm saying!

World Wide Climate Implications

2008-03-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

In the news this week, the Arctic ice continues to melt...

What does this mean for us? My heart is broken. Log in to this site and check out this powerful video.

and for comic relief.

What's Up This Weekend?

2008-03-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

If you enjoy hanging out with creative minds and goal getters, you may want to head to the Arizona Center in downtown Phoenix to support the Arizona Black Film Festival at the AMC Theatre.

My good friend, An'tony de'Shay has a short film that will be showing this Saturday. He is a brilliant writer/ college professor, advisor and just an overall great person. We'll have to show up to see him show out!!

"NOT SWEETHEART. NOT HONEY. NOT EVEN LOVE!!"

2008-03-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

This one is for WENDY MNOOKIN! It's been awhile that I've come across some good poetry. As writers read, we are always looking for that magical intersection where time and place come together... most perfectly.

I was reading LocusPoint, an online poetry magazine created by Charles Jensen and I came across an awesome poem written by Wendy Mnookin the poem is called French Cafe' and I'm still lovin' it!!

I had to write her and with her permission I am including her website to my blog list. She's a must read!

When "IT JUST AIN'T FITTIN "..... anymore

2008-03-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I took a few days off (more like a week) from this article that had been brewing on that post break-up behavior. We all know its takes more than two days!!!

In my wild excursions of rushing into time, and for the sake of distance here are the following accounts for DAY 2.
Ten Top Ways To Get Over IT-- Day two

1. Wake up and Pray!!
2. Start the day early and Pray-- update your myspace and blogsites.
3. Listen to comfort music in your car
4. Use your lunch hour to exercise or dance!
5. Stop avoiding his calls and emails (its okay to talk)
6. Stop cursing him on the emails (most likely you'll be apologizing for it)
7. Keep in touch with your friends (they're still checking in on you)
8. Laugh--Laugh--Laugh log in the the blogsite I HATE MY THESIS (because you understand the horror of time lost, procratination, and well, the beast of the matter-- it's someone else's turn to burn the midnight oils!)
9. Take time to think about your decision and contribution to the break-up
10. Accept closure, go see a great movie and finish that good book!

Break ups are difficult and often take far more than two days to rummage through. They're messy, they're hurtful, they're life altering pains, and sometimes... sometimes they can be therapeutic. For every beginning there is an ending and for every ending there is a new beginning waiting to unravel itself.
Embrace it, and be blessed in your new beginnings!! Try looking at the glass as half full. rather, than half empty.

I wish that you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

2008-03-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

By Kate Nash "The Nicest Thing" Animation-
This is truly a different kind of song.

When "IT JUST AIN'T FITTIN" anymore....

2008-03-19T03:13:00.000-07:00

We're experiencing some serious post break-up behavior in the office. In a conversation with my anonymous friends I have acquired the following information and helpful advice for people who are recently going through a break-up:

First, when coming into contact with these people it's good advice to know they're busy. Yes, I mean b u s y. Emails go unanswered, answering phones are shut off, missed calls are not returned (it depends on how close you are to the person) sorry, but it's the truth. As it turns out, being busy is the key to getting yourself through the pain.

A co-worker who shall remain anonymous made the following statement, " It takes two days. In two days, I'll believe it's over and then, I'll be over it." Wow, what an interesting way to deal with the unpredictables. Was she serious???

In her theory, the following has been recorded for day one at home.... will let you know what the deal is after day two.
Ten Top Ways To Get Over It-- When "IT'S NOT FITTIN" anymore....

1. Wake up, shower, get ready to start a new day, its okay to cry at this time, nobody's around.
2. Watch the morning news & listen to motivational music, its okay to cry at this time, nobody's around.
3. Spend two hours googling ancient sanskrit names for possible characters for a new novel, there's no real reason to cry at this point (researching and being a wimp at the same time isn't cool).
4. Spend one hour defending your favorite politician on utube (why aren't these people getting the main point?? Also, at least fifteen minutes is spent trying to be savvy when logging in for the first time with a catchy cool name) also, there's no real reason to cry at this point.
5. Email all your best friends with one email to let them know, "its over". Include at least your two best male friends, they can do the &@^!&=@ for you--all remarks through testosterone are acceptable from them at this point. Also, it's okay to cry at this point, you can trust these men.
6. Call your best friends back to let them know you're okay... the concerned ones will come over to see you at once, its okay to cry at this time, you trust them and their affections.
7. Laugh, Laugh, Laugh-- read the blog site I HATE MY THESIS and just laugh because you understand the horror of thesis writing in graduate school. No need to cry, you're having too much fun reading and laughing at someone else's misery.
8. Leach on to a friend's guest pass to go "work out" at the nearest fitness club (it may not be kickboxing, but on the first day of the break up, anything will do). Definitely no crying here.
9. Spend the next two hours shopping with a good friend. It's okay to make a shoe purchase. Its all good, no need to cry.
10. Be cozy at home and watch a movie you never watched before, it will take your attention off the rest of the day. No need to cry... the day is over, you made it through. Get on the phone and make plans to visit with other friends for day TWO!!

Ladies First! Muchas Gracias Uni, Benny & Michael!!

2008-03-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have been brimming on this for more than a week and my co-workers have urged me to just let this one fly.
Click on this video and keep reading...

Mary J. Blige - Just Fine

..
Add to My Profile | More Videos

Ladies, be encouraged by your strengths and believe in your natural ability to accept all the good things you have been blessed with in this lifetime.

For my awesome friend Universo, for the risk taker in Benny and Michael V. you men rock for being the romantic go-getters that you are! Keep on stepping out, reaching out, putting her first and you're sure to find the gem that is intended for you!
Ladies, you know we all loved Lancelot!!

2008-03-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

upon meeting
St. Louis airport

meeting you is like coming home
after a prolonged trip away
I'm foreign again
diluted with distance
in between our in between lives
we've closed a thousand doors
blinked away a million thoughts
said a hundred prayers
about the maze of sanctum sanctorum's hell
and the storm brewing in the skies
the rain falling outside
your balcony doors and into the years
where we watch the storms hover
to cover our island skies

meeting you
is like coming home
still I am foreign once again
diluted with distance
but the butterfly inside me
has fluttered her wings
to the familiar scent
of your eucalyptus tree
one more time

from After the Rain, by Crystal Kill

like Salem

2008-02-29T12:07:00.000-08:00

like Salem

yes, I know you tried
said you were a friend
cloaked Baptist religion, thanked Jesus
and lied

from your stomach,
souled her thirst
to start a fire--a giant's jealousy
born a dark and bitter curse

the giant pounced
finally, a stitch who can stand me
daring to brand me
back stabbing ploys
willing to band me

another giant wrought
said she was bigger than me
with her coyish smile
heavier than me she piled the brie
but in Jesus' name, that fire
wasn't meant for me

my God say no, and gave me the rain
to wash off the hate,
the bitter rival that stained
'cause I was not born to bare her pains

Sista girl , I'm still alive
my God said no-- not like Salem
where your jealously
would've easily burned
and hanged'em

written by Crystal K.

KiKi's World

2008-02-29T11:16:00.000-08:00

Kiki's World -- (Coming Soon!)

Kiki's world has been created to allow bloggers to seek and recieve some kind and gentle advice from Kiki who is an expert on giving straight advice on various 'things of the world'. In Kiki's world, she knows everything. A very prominent and highly artistic Phoenician Sketch Artist is sketching a picture of her as we speak. Her column will feature on this site throughout 2008. Please feel welcomed to visit us and send us your questions!

Questions Posed:

MOJO said...

QUESTION: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALL OF YOUR SHOE-STRINGS WERE GONE FROM ALL OF YOUR SHOES?

March 1, 2008 1:23 PM

Jewel said...

Dear MOJO,
I know you!!! I untied your shoes!! Okay, so you would go to Walmart and buy more shoe strings....(laughing)
thank you,
Kiki

QUESTION:WHAT HAPPENES WHEN YOUR
SISTER DRIVES YOU CRAZY?

March 1, 2008 7:35 PM

Dear Jewel,
You can lock the doors behind you and hope she doesn't have the keys.
Good Luck with the lock!
thank you,
Kiki

___________________________________________

2007-10-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

Harvest Moon

harvest moon charming
October's midnight sky
nestled in loom as
she unfolds her silence in nigh;

bless'd in bloom with amber
shades of fallen leaves
as they rest past noon
on the shingled crestless eaves

harvest moon blushing
her sway with a gentle breeze
casting away but not too soon
the frequent fall of summer's leaves

upon Diana's golden breasts
transpire her unforgiving spell
of the hazy arrays of harvest and
the comforting presence beauty compels

in the sky she roams
through hues of bronzy auburn light
embedded for centuries flown
her tapestry again
illumines its romantic flight!

by Crystal Kill

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2007-10-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

almost home
flight 304 to Arizona

I missed the call
several months ago
I'm wondering
if it could've made a difference
the tiny window on my right
holds another kind of amazement
heaven is glowing again
across the sky
pillows of white on white beam
and I remember your voice again
heavy
trying to understand
what couldn't be understood
in a single phone call

we drift across the clouds
and a dozen drop zones appear
there's no other way to embrace
f r e e d o m

sometimes you've just got to let go
I randomly pick a drop zone and imagine
getting ready to dive
maybe Emily dived too in her own way
I wonder about her
content
in her bedroom library upstairs
writing about the funeral in her brain
and the loaded gun that made language
the loaded weapon
free to dive plunge circle float begin and
end anywhere the world would or would
not allow
Emily still rocks Amherst

the drop zones disappear
between the mountains
this time the tiny windows
hide my fears
dear God I'm melting again
the divide in the mountain
looks like an open wound
deep discusted and bruised
they beg to be hidden
beneath the snow caps
of another season
an oversized band aid
to cover the sutured terrain
freezing what can be frozen

a lot like that mountain
I am sturdy and strong
but cut wide open
in places that few can see

the sky has changed again
through the muddled sheath
of clouds, thick and blurry shadows
fade into the distance
I've lost sight until the desert approaches
"80 miles east of Phoenix"
the warm glow on the orange mountains shine
and I'm almost home

written by Crystal K.

S K Y D I V I N G

Looking back.... just a little....

Sharing That Poetry

when age isn't always better

What is Change?

A Poem for my Cousins

Poetry Slam Happening Tonight.... Mesa

Another class ends....

R.I.C.H *Keeping It Alive*

Poem #20. NaPoWriMo

Poem #19. NaPoWriMo

Poem #18. NaPoWriMo

Poem #17. NaPoWriMo

Poem #16. NaPoWriMo

Poem #15. NaPoWriMo

Poem #14. NaPoWriMo

Poem #13. NaWriPoMo

Poem #12. NaPoWriMo

Poem # 11. NaPoWriMo Challenge

Poem #10. NaPoWriMo

Poem #9. NaWriPoMo

Poem # 8 NaWriPoMo

Inconvenient Truth VI

Inconvenient Truth V

Arizona Author's Association--Looking for Authors!

My Anthem of the Day III

Proverbs 22:6

We Celebrate Nat. Poetry Month!!

Poem 7. NaPoWriMo Challenge

John Suvivor Blake and Poem #8

Poem 6. NaPoWriMo

My Anthem Of the Day!

Inconvenient Truth IV

Inconvenient Truth III

Poem 5. NaPoWriMo

Inconvenient Truth II

My Inconvenient Truth

Poem 4. YEAH!!

Sorry no poems yet... I'm three behind!!

A Short Wedding Jingle I

Two Down. NaPoWriMo Challenge

One Down! 1/30

Thirty Poems In Thirty Days?

My Song For Today I

Walk With Me

World Wide Climate Implications

What's Up This Weekend?

"NOT SWEETHEART. NOT HONEY. NOT EVEN LOVE!!"

When "IT JUST AIN'T FITTIN "..... anymore

I wish that you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

When "IT JUST AIN'T FITTIN" anymore....

Ladies First! Muchas Gracias Uni, Benny & Michael!!

like Salem

KiKi's World

___________________________________________

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R.I.C.H Keeping It Alive